Me. At least after what I've been through.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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