I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
