It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
