Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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