that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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