We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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