Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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