hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
