fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
