Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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