I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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