you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
