Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
