Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
