she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
