Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
