Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize