I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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