David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
