I seem to have left my pride at pride
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
