that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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