Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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