What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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