So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
