I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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