Whod you bang
I must be too annoying 4 u.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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