Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
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