Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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