you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
