I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
