So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
