I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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