He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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