i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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