So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize