so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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