Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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