I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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