i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
