Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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