There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
