Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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