I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
it glows. i had to have it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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