i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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