I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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