just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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