it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
