Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
