If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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