Just mADE A PArabola og urine
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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