she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
