dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
