It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
