Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
farters have to be the big spoon...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize