so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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