I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
