we're chasing vodka with high fives
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
