An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
