yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
