mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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