Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
