Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
