oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize